Episode 501

The fall line-up is about to begin, and that means my "summer programming is too mindless for discussion" excuse for not writing is no longer valid. I would like to defend this three month break, however, by reminding my loyal readers that they would much rather read nothing than read about the shows I was watching this summer: The Bachelorette, Big Brother, Pretty Little Liars, Say Yes to the Dress, should I continue? Basically, what I'm saying is: you should be thanking me.

With all of the TV awfulness converging over the summer, I seem to find myself much more easily amused with what is out there. Reruns of Friends become so laugh-out-loud funny that you save them on your DVR so you can share the joke -- which turns out isn't funny to anyone else -- with anyone who comes over. You even begin to YouTube the commercials you like so you can re-watch them on loop. And speaking of things that only the mighty few can appreciate, thanks to my non-Dawson's Creek watching friend for clue-ing me into this gem early on this summer.

The summer did end with one major success, though: the Emmys. Unfortunately, Parks and Recreation was shafted for nominations and Friday Night Lights was perhaps even more shafted for wins (as amazing as Bryan Cranston is, Kyle Chandler is absolutely the most talented actor on TV). And when on earth is Steve Carell going to nab the Best Actor Emmy? This is getting kind of absurd. If Michael Emerson replaces him -- in what would be the best casting decision since casting Steve Carell as Michael Scott -- I bet he takes the Emmy his first year (making up for another Emmy shaft from this year - LOST). Still, the ceremony itself was stellar, and it is definitely worth checking out some of the highlights: namely George Clooney guest starring on Modern Family and Ricky Gervais just being funny.

I'd like to conclude with a confession: I think Lauren Graham is funny. It really pains me to say it. Let me be clear, though: I still think Gilmore Girls gives sitcoms and all TV a bad name, but I'm ready to admit that it's the writing and not the acting (at least not hers). Thanks to the threatening encouragement of my Hollywood posse, I finally gave in to more than 5 minutes of Parenthood, and in addition to being wowed by some of the new faces (new to me, at least), Lauren Graham won me over. So there we have it -- if you can't read my blog anymore because of this, I completely understand. In fact, I respect you all the more for it.

Interlude

For your entertainment while I'm on hiatus (read: I saw this and couldn't resist posting it):

This week in unnecessary censorship: LOST edition

Episode 428

Sometimes I find myself turning into my least favorite television characters. Exhibit A: Joey Potter. While I sadly have no chance with Joshua Jackson, I have recently aligned myself with Joey by deciding that other people's talents would become my hobbies (or as Joey Potter would vehemently call them, life passions). For Joey, these sudden interests came from being a self-involved drama queen; for me, it comes from watching TV.

I know I'm not the only person who went out and bought goggles after seeing Michael Phelps at the Olympics. My stint as a swimmer lasted six days, with a total of about 40 minutes in a pool. Turns out it's a lot harder than it looks.

Most recently, I've decided to be a dancer. So You Think You Can Dance is possibly one of the most inspiring shows on television: between the sob stories, the encouraging judges, and the moving performances, it is impossible not to want to do what these people can do. I don't care if I'm a ballerina, a b-girl, a krumper -- and SYTYCD makes it look like I don't even have to choose.

In any case, I've become so invested with this show, that I'm kind of hoping my exam committee is split on whether to pass me at my Orals next week and that in order to decide, they have me "dance for my life." Of course that would secure me a fail, but it would be worth it. I could do this, right?

I'm going to go practice, and when I come back, get ready for Season 5 of these posts. Summer!

Episode 427

Well, wow. LOST is over. I think I speak for everyone -- regardless of how you felt about the finale -- when I say that it was extremely emotional coming to the end. I know many people were disappointed that we didn't get many answers, but the feeling I had in the last few minutes of the series made me think that that didn't really matter. Whatever it was that happened in that last scene -- I don't want to say anything for the sake of my most loyal reader who is currently only on season 3, and I'm not even sure I could describe it if I tried -- I want that. But I also want LOST. And that's what DVDs are for.

Despite the incredible impact that LOST has had on American culture, especially recently, there's something about dramas that don't allow them to seep into daily life as much as comedies. When someone says "yadda yadda yadda" or "that's what she said" or bangs the insides of their fists together in anger, we kind of just know what it means. Somewhere in the back of our heads, we might be thinking Seinfeld, The Office, or Friends, but it's not our first reaction. Contrarily, if I were to respond to two friends arguing with "live together or die alone" they would -- after rolling their eyes -- hear it as a quote from LOST.

Speaking of finales, I'll blame my blog absence on the abundance of them these past few weeks. Some just for the season (and mostly successes, I must say) and some forever (goodbye 24 and Law & Order...and I know you'll all miss the critically acclaimed 10 Things I Hate About You). We've seen hopeful cliffhangers (Holly coming back to Scranton?) and touching heart-warmers (Modern Family's family portrait). And to put a silver lining on an otherwise terrible season, we saw a humble, deserving, and stand-up guy take the American Idol crown as we bid Simon a fond farewell.

So as the last few series (e.g. The Mike O'Malley Show...oh, I mean, Glee) come to their season finales, we now finally have an excuse to watch truly crappily awesome and usually reality TV: summer programming.

Recap

You know when your favorite show advertises an "all new episode" and then it's a recap? Because of how much I hate that, I'll give it to you straight -- this post is not an original. I just want to link you to two of the most insightful things I've read about my favorite Tuesday night shows this week:

1) Perfect interpretation of LOST's "Across the Sea."

2) Pure Glee ecstasy: I'm glad someone else agrees.

Episode 426

Someone writing for How I Met Your Mother has been reading my blog. Either that, or they've been a graduate student in the humanities. In the most recent episode, Ted embodied exactly what I wrote about in my very first blog entry -- basically, people who name-drop Foucault, or, as we saw last night, recite Dante's Divine Comedy in the original Italian at parties, have a great tendency to be douches.

In this episode, Ted finds himself at a snobby gala attended by such random hysterical figures as Will Shortz, editor of the New York Times crossword (and in another moment of HIMYM brilliance, we find out that Ted was right: Ulee is a common crossword answer "because of all the vowels"). In any case, at some point in the evening, Ted begins pontificating on the concept of Hell and decides to recite the opening lines of Dante's Divine Comedy..."if you'll allow me, in the original Italian..."

He has not yet gotten through the first three verses when it strikes him: "You know, I actually sound kind of douchey." Three lines. It takes most people three decades to realize the douchey-ness of discussing 14th-century Italian literature at social gatherings -- and by then, they're so pretentious that they don't mind.

Ted's thought that follows -- while he continues to delve into the opening of the Inferno -- sums up my entire hypothesis about intellectuals:

"I'm the biggest douche on the planet!"*

And all it took was TV to prove it.


*I could have linked to so many other things right there, be thankful that I just chose to show you the clip at hand (which is highly worth watching, by the way).

Episode 425

My first two ideas for blog topics today were self-vetoed for the following reasons:

1) If I have to relive Jin and Sun's beautiful departure, I might die of a broken heart.
2) If I were to link you to this clip, several of you might un-friend me.

So instead, I'll start by telling you about a friend I have. He is one of the best people I know, but (or maybe therefore) we have very little in common. We disagree about so many things, from coffee to political leanings to how to tell someone it's "ten of" the hour (or "ten till" according to him). But there's one thing we agree on: Modern Family.

I know I've written a good amount about this groundbreaking-but-not show, but as the first season comes to an end, it is becoming more and more clear that this show appeals to nearly everyone.

I have two theories as to why, one more complex than the other:

Theory #1: This show has managed to take the genre of voyeuristic comedy to a completely relate-able level. While not everyone works in an office, not everyone is involved in their local parks department, and not everyone attends community college (sorry, I'm excited about NBC's line-up tonight), everyone has a family of one kind or another. And while Arrested Development ushered us into the era of not-your-normal-family-family-sitcoms, let's just face it: we sadly cannot actually relate to Gob or Buster. I think that's the point, but for that reason, some people (terrible people, I might add) may find the show alienating. Modern Family, instead, makes us feel like part of the family.

Theory #2: Sofia Vergara. Male or female, ten till or ten of, we all want to gawk at 22 minutes of that.