Episode 314

There are a lot of things that happen on television that don't happen in real life (no need to list every single thing Michael Scott has ever done). But there is one thing that is so prevalent on TV and so seemingly natural on screen that it is spiraling out of control: on television, when someone has to tell someone something -- anything -- person one just goes to person two's house.

Exhibit A: Have you ever seen Coach Taylor on FNL pick up the phone when he has to whip Tim Riggins into shape or apologize to an angry parent? No, he just marches right on over to that person's house, sweet talks them with his sexy accent and then asks, "You u'erstand me?" Done and done, no need to use semi-modern technology.

It becomes even more ridiculous when it requires more than simply getting in the car and driving five minutes across town in order to complete these visits. Think about Joey and Dawson. Every time Joey climbed up that ladder, she had to have paddled all the way down the creek in her little canoe first. She very well could have just sent Dawson an e-mail (although this would have foiled her apparent plan to be as obnoxious as possible) but she chose to go straight over to his house and pull the old Clarissa Explains it All.

And finally, the most recent, and perhaps the most exaggerated house visit of all, is on Gossip Girl. How many times has Serena gone all the way from the Upper East Side to Brooklyn to tell Dan about something really unimportant? And then he gives her 'tude and she says "you know, nevermind, I shouldn't have even come..." and leaves. Um, 1) Duh. You could have just texted, we know you know how; 2) You're seriously going to come all the way to Brooklyn and then just turn around because some guy in a skinny tie gives you lip?

Now I know that Coach Taylor is a southern gentleman, and that Joey lives on the wrong side of the creek, and that Brooklyn is so much more rockin' than Manhattan (you just wouldn't understand), but come on people, welcome to the 21st century.