Episode 505

This summer, I was involved in a disagreement over Matt Damon's talents as an actor. I argued that the subtle variations between his characters in say, the Bourne movies, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Dogma, and Good Will Hunting were enough to show his depth, even though he always plays some form of a creepy loner with issues. The other side of the argument voted for Leonardo DiCaprio, arguing that Matt Damon was too one-sided to deserve any merit. Well, let's try to put Leonardo in an episode of 30 Rock and see how he holds up, because Matt blew prime time away last week. After a fairly dull fourth season of 30 Rock last year, Matt Damon contributed to what I think was a pretty good start to the new season. In order to measure up to Alec Baldwin, your comedic timing and delivery have to be near perfect, and Matt nailed it. So how do you like them apples?

Speaking of starting off with a bang, The Office calmed down everyone who was freaking out about Steve Carell's imminent departure by kicking off the season with the two things the show does best: music and Toby. The absolutely brilliant musical cold open could have aired on its own with 19 minutes of dead air following it, and I think we still would have felt satisfied. And the incredible closing clip featured more Toby, leading me to ask: how is it still funny that Michael hates Toby? It really never gets old. So, combine music and Toby, and we have three of the absolute best moments in The Office history: Toby alone at the office while the rest of the cast is singing in unison on the beach games bus; Michael's rendition of "Goodbye, Toby"; Dwight and Andy's "Country Road"; and now, this cold open.

And to finish out the Thursday night NBC premieres line-up, Community also did pretty well for itself. I was a little skeptical about pulling Betty White out for the first episode (seemed a little desperate for a show that isn't that at all), but it worked. Although I must admit I don't really remember anything other the final scene (yet more proof that musical numbers in sitcoms, when done right, are amazing).

Episode 504

There seem to be more series premieres than usual this season (or at least they're advertising more heavily -- what's with the 10-page magazine spreads everywhere?) which means I'll have to watch in moderation. I most certainly will not be watching the pilot of Outsourced tomorrow for moral reasons (having nothing to do with outsourcing and everything to do with the fact that it bumped one of the funniest sitcoms on television out of the fall line-up). So I limited myself to three new shows: two sitcoms and a drama.

I started out with Raising Hope - made it to the first commercial break. None of the jokes landed and I was oddly creeped out by how much the girl from Parenthood (the movie) looks exactly the same 20 years later. Next on the docket was Running Wilde - can't go wrong with Will Arnett and David Cross, right? Right. Within the first few minutes, the writers gave us Arrested Development fans a shout-out, having Arnett's character worry that "he'd made a huge mistake." Though the pilot didn't hit as hard as Modern Family on its premiere, it has definite potential.

My new drama of choice was The Event. I don't know if it was the incessant NBC ads for it, the commercials they played for it before every movie I've seen in theaters in the past six months, or just the fact that it got a good review in EW, but I went for it. I was actually impressed by the character-focus of the first episode (and if you were wondering "why do I recognize that dude?", it's from Parenthood. Or maybe Swimfan). In any case, my recommendation would be to watch the first 59.5 minutes of the pilot and then turn the TV off and treat it as an open-ended TV movie. Unless they really, really make up for the absurd Gob's magic trick (illusion) meets Heroes-effect ridiculousness that happened in the last 30 seconds, I'm going to have a tough time buying into this one. Unfortunately, LOST has done everything, and done everything better, so these mystery/drama/action shows are going to have to prove themselves big time.

Episode 503

A lot of good TV happened this week, but for now, while my posts are on a more personal roll, I'd like to share with you the dangers of not watching television that I experienced first-hand last night. (Speaking of the storytelling nature of my last entry, someone compared it to "the Halloween episodes of Dawson's Creek" - doesn't really move the story along, kind of a filler episode, slightly different tone than usual...but hey, they can't all be classics).

So, the story. Last night, instead of staying awake to watch Project Runway, I fell asleep about six minutes into it (let's just ignore for the time being the fact that this means I fell asleep at 9:06pm). At approximately 10:25pm, I awoke to something moderately heavy and plastic falling onto my head. My bed-mate, leaning over me to make remote to DVR contact as he furiously fast-forwarded to the exciting "one of you will be the winner, and one of you...will be out," got a little over-zealous and, yes, dropped the remote control on my head.

Moral of the story: no matter how much a week of fall premieres tuckers you out, never choose sleep -- or anything for that matter -- over TV. There are dangerous consequences (small bruise, traumatic memories).

Episode 502

As Week 1 of Fall TV is about to begin, I have returned from Los Angeles -- where I went to increase my reliability as a TV news source, of course -- with my second ever celebrity sighting. The first was renowned TV star Adrian Grenier, brunching at Little Dom's. Unfortunately, Adrian Grenier stars on a show that I have yet to watch -- though I do a mean impression of Michael Scott doing a mean impression of it. Luckily for me, my devotion to teen romantic comedies made that walk-by just as meaningful.

This newest celebrity sighting was of someone I have watched on many a TV show, including one currently on the air. To be honest, when I first made eye contact, I wasn't certain it was him. He had a hat on and (not fully tinted) sunglasses and I had to stare for a moment to be sure. But suddenly I got a shiver up my spine and the inexplicable need to vomit came over me, and I knew -- it was Howie Mandel.

That's the whole story, but in order to ensure that my anti-climactic sighting was not in vain, I will allow it to remind me to link to the only interesting/compelling/talented talent on America's Got Talent this season: Fighting Gravity. Enjoy! And in honor of my first TV viewing of the fall season, I will sign off: XOXO, conngirl.

Episode 501

The fall line-up is about to begin, and that means my "summer programming is too mindless for discussion" excuse for not writing is no longer valid. I would like to defend this three month break, however, by reminding my loyal readers that they would much rather read nothing than read about the shows I was watching this summer: The Bachelorette, Big Brother, Pretty Little Liars, Say Yes to the Dress, should I continue? Basically, what I'm saying is: you should be thanking me.

With all of the TV awfulness converging over the summer, I seem to find myself much more easily amused with what is out there. Reruns of Friends become so laugh-out-loud funny that you save them on your DVR so you can share the joke -- which turns out isn't funny to anyone else -- with anyone who comes over. You even begin to YouTube the commercials you like so you can re-watch them on loop. And speaking of things that only the mighty few can appreciate, thanks to my non-Dawson's Creek watching friend for clue-ing me into this gem early on this summer.

The summer did end with one major success, though: the Emmys. Unfortunately, Parks and Recreation was shafted for nominations and Friday Night Lights was perhaps even more shafted for wins (as amazing as Bryan Cranston is, Kyle Chandler is absolutely the most talented actor on TV). And when on earth is Steve Carell going to nab the Best Actor Emmy? This is getting kind of absurd. If Michael Emerson replaces him -- in what would be the best casting decision since casting Steve Carell as Michael Scott -- I bet he takes the Emmy his first year (making up for another Emmy shaft from this year - LOST). Still, the ceremony itself was stellar, and it is definitely worth checking out some of the highlights: namely George Clooney guest starring on Modern Family and Ricky Gervais just being funny.

I'd like to conclude with a confession: I think Lauren Graham is funny. It really pains me to say it. Let me be clear, though: I still think Gilmore Girls gives sitcoms and all TV a bad name, but I'm ready to admit that it's the writing and not the acting (at least not hers). Thanks to the threatening encouragement of my Hollywood posse, I finally gave in to more than 5 minutes of Parenthood, and in addition to being wowed by some of the new faces (new to me, at least), Lauren Graham won me over. So there we have it -- if you can't read my blog anymore because of this, I completely understand. In fact, I respect you all the more for it.